5/3/12

...things I'm afraid to tell you


This post about sharing things you are afraid to talk about on your blog is spreading around today and I thought I would take part.

So here goes...(I'm nervous).

1. I could list the number of friends I have on one hand.

2. I think my fear will keep me from success in writing.

3. Even though I am very happily married I still struggle with loneliness.

4. I am so afraid that my husband will die in an accident that I have panic attacks thinking about it.

5. I am worried my life will end tragically.

6. I have been on anti-depressants for five years.

7. I wake hungry every night around 3:30 and have a bowl of cereal.

8. I watch kids movies to fall asleep at night.

9. I constantly feel judged, the only relief is when I am alone.

10. I always think I smell bad even right after a shower.

11. I get images of car accidents happening every time I drive.

12. I go to therapy twice a week and sometimes that doesn't feel like enough.
Labels: , ,

5 comments:

  1. The Quiet OwlMay 3, 2012 at 7:22 PM

    I could put a lot of those on my list as well. Thanks for being brave enough to share!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Nic May 4, 2012 at 12:47 AM

    I think 10/12 apply to me, so you are certainly not alone, my lovely. I have never quite worked out the car one, and it seems to me that there is a little more to it than just fear of driving (I fear driving quite a bit). It's all very strange, isn't it? But then I suppose thoughts are. Normally. I must say though that since I have been on one of the medications, these have largely calmed down, thankfully. And I think you will find that as time goes on, yours will too.

    Brave little flower.

    :-) x N

    ReplyDelete
  3. UnknownMay 7, 2012 at 7:25 AM

    After reading that list you seem pretty normal to me! I read a study somewhere that put relationship into levels to assess how many close relationships was normal. Most people only have 3 or 4 close friends! That's one hand just like you :)
    That you for sharing all this though. To be honest I'm not ready to be so vulnerable on my blog...

    http://shaktidove.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  4. Garden GirlMay 9, 2012 at 2:17 PM

    Thanks Quiet Owl and Nic. Its nice but kind of bittersweet that I'm not alone. Because I know most of the things listed weren't happy ones.

    Shakti- it is hard to be honest in blog land. So many people just want to be happy all the time and that just isn't the truth for everyone.

    xx, C

    ReplyDelete
  5. UnknownMay 29, 2012 at 7:53 AM

    Thanks for being open and honest with us! I did one of these posts as well and may do one again in the near future :)

    xo Shane

    ReplyDelete

I adore your notes! Please don't be shy! :)

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)