life collection

So I found this little pink nosed pup in the Valentine's section at Target today. I instantly fell in love. It was the last one and since I had a gift card from Ronald I decided to get it (it was only $14.99). It's a candy dish but I am going to see if it can hold water because I can imagine a bunch of red or pink carnations put in it for Valentine's day! I can't wait to find a place for him in the house!

I have been in a lot of pain the last few days. Yesterday I had a horrible headache. Nothing made it better until I went to sleep for an hour or so. I feel the headache coming back right now even though I am on a bunch of ibuprofen. This morning I woke up with my back being so incredibly sore. It felt like my spine was all tensed up. This fibromyalgia thing is still so new to me. I ordered two books that I hope will give me some good information. I also started keeping a pain diary last night, where I will take note of the pain I experienced that day and if I did anything to trigger it.

I was planning on taking down Christmas decorations today. I was excited to put some new things out that have been hiding in our spare rooms, but I don't think that will happen today.

I am telling myself that it's all okay. That it's okay to hurt and it won't last forever. Pain is so demoralizing though. I'm sad. Sad because I can't function normally. Sad because Ronald is back at work and I miss him. Sad because I'm not tired enough to sleep and not energized enough to even stand up right now. I hate watching television by myself, or just sitting around. I want to do something but I can't push myself when I am already at my limit.

I have to learn to live with this though, and be gentle with myself. Cricket just came over and gave me some kisses. She thinks that makes it all better, and I wish it did too.

xx, C