I woke early after dreams that Ronald died in a terrorist attack. Bad dreams stick to the roof of my mouth like caramel, haunting me all day.
It's cold and rainy out. I'm not sure what to do. I have so much I want to do in life but my emotions and aches keep me from getting close to them. I have tried for years to get there. To write, create, paint, read, do all those lovely things. But they are so far off. I'm surviving, not living and it has been that way for all time. I hope one day to get to the red greasy center of my pain filled heart and make it better. Maybe it is just a flip of a switch? Or maybe a transplant? I'm not sure.
Regardless. It is morning. I am breathing. Maybe that's all I have, and maybe that's enough.
xx, C
It looks so lovely! That little hedgie is adorable!
ReplyDeleteMeg
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