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There are so many things I want to do, but only a handful of energy and pain-I-can-work-through-ness in every day. It really is frustrating, devastating, sad.
I took for granted having physical strength and having little pain my whole life. Now that I can do very little, I see how amazing being physically healthy is. I miss jumping, walking at a normal pace, dancing around the house to a good song, being able to be hugged without hurting, walking up stairs, doing the dishes, and giving our pups baths on Saturday mornings. It's one of those things we all take for granted until we can't do it anymore.
Today I want to redecorate my desk, clean off the dining room table, cook and bake, and do laundry. I honestly don't know if any of these tasks will be accomplished as this morning my pain is almost unbearable. But we'll see.
I wish I felt good. I wish I didn't just have ideas, but had the energy and resources to create and do the things I want to do.
love, C
Aw, Catherine I am so sorry you're in so much pain. Like you said, it's so much harder to feel un-sad when your body feels unwell. I was wondering-- are you part of a support group for people with Fibromyalgia? I know at a hospital near me they run a group every week for those who share that diagnosis; maybe that could be therapeutic?
ReplyDeleteI hope you are able to get done what you want to get done today. My thoughts are with you.
Be well,
NOS