life collection

Hello Dears,

Things have been rough going this week. I'm tired and feel like shit every day. Sometimes I don't know how I get through it. I've been getting through it for years, and since chronic pain joined the party last year, it's become even worse. I seriously feel like a giant boo-boo each day.

I can't get a restful nights sleep for the life of me. I am so stressed and anxious. I don't want to sit still because then I think about how horrible I'm feeling internally, so I keep moving and then end up paying for it physically. It all feels like too much.

I seriously have been trying to figure out how I can get more constant care, I mean like a nanny type of care. I know it sounds pretty ridiculous but I really wish there was a way to get more support on a day to day basis. I have been trying to think of ways Ronald could work from home full-time, so he can help me, but then I remember he will be working from home so it wouldn't be all that helpful.

The other thing I have been thinking about is how nice it would be to have my friends live close by and be able to get together a few times a week during the day. It would be nice to talk to someone and have company more often. The main problem with this is I get anti-social so often and mostly want to hide out and be alone.

Anyway. I am going to get off my ass early this morning and organize my closet. It has been probably 6 months or more since I've cleaned it out. Almost all my clothes are on the floor and my shoes are thrown everywhere. Not fun. So here goes...

Love, C