life collection

It's july (really!). We are half way through the year!

I have a cold and am having the worst time sleeping. I woke at 4:30 this morning so happy because my dreams were incredibly scary. I feel like I am running on zero sleep.

Even though I was the most exhausted person I took myself on a bit of a date this morning. I went to Wal-Mart (I know...classy) to get a few deals, then I went to my favorite little cafe' and had a quick lunch.

I ordered a fresh lemonade (best!), coffee in a bowl, and a mini-BLT sandwich. I sat at one table, then moved to another, then switched chairs (I always do this). I looked outside and tried to be present and aware. To really see the people walking by, the architecture of the fancy market across the street, and the little trees full of magenta flowers. It was hard because I don't let myself do that, I find I keep going, and doing-doing-doing-doing, because slowing down brings up a lot of emotions for me. But that isn't how I want to live my life, so I'm trying to change it.

On the way home I stopped at Trader Joe's and bought a two huge bunches of dahlias that are now waiting in the kitchen sink.

It's been a while since my last post. I've been going through a lot. I have been writing and am about to submit my first poems to a magazine to see if I can get published (terrified!). I read a super inspiring interview of the poet Henri Cole in the Paris Review. I had never heard of him but he seems fascinating. The way he talks about poetry and his process of writing is so like mine, and I felt ok with how I do things. It was so refreshing! Over the weekend I shared snips of the article with Ronald. I was so excited I felt like I was going to jump out of my skin. When things like this happen, I know I am a writer. I know writing is what I have to do.

Writing is an extremely/irritatingly emotional process for me. Writing half a page can take all the wind out of my sails for a day or more. This makes me avoid writing altogether somedays, but usually it comes to me anyway. I get a line in the shower, or while I'm driving and there I am--writing again, like a sucker. But it's my thing, and that scares me. But it's my thing, and that fills me.

So here goes I and here goes me, and all the words I wrapped and ruttered. I think I like the way words sound, more than what they mean...Meaning is good too, but sound- that's best.

Anyway, I am having a new blog design installed in the next day or so. The new look is really simple and modern, can't wait for you to see it!

I wish I could give you a flower and love note just for reading. Thanks for being here.