6/29/15

This is me



I don't like keeping secrets. Especially when I realize that the reason I am keeping a secret is because I am afraid. Afraid of what people will think. Afraid of being redefined. Afraid of being judged. Ridiculed. Hated. I'm no longer keeping this secret because I am done living in fear. I am a riot girl, a feminist, and an activist at heart, and keeping secrets out of fear is the opposite of the person I want to be. So here goes...

I'm bisexual. I've known for years and came out to Ronald about a year ago. He is awesome and supportive, even more reason I am honored to be his lady. I wasn't planning on coming out publicly but after watching this youtube video Saturday I started sobbing and doing lots of thinking, I don't want to keep such a big part of myself a secret purely out of fear of the repercussions. I am so proud of everyone who has come out, who is being true to the world and themselves. It is hard, and so brave. I am tired of supporting the LGBT community while pretending I am not one of them. I am standing with them and raising my hand, I am part of the LGBT community.

The thing is, being bisexual isn't just a sexual preference, it's a part of your identity, my identity, who I am. I am so proud of the Supreme Court and the progress our country is making, it has taken too long, but at least it's happening now. I am ecstatic thinking about all the marriages that are in the works right now for LGBT couples!

I don't want to feel pent up, I don't want to feel like I have to keep part of my identity hidden. I want to live free, congruently, and joyously. I want to be true to myself first. Plus, if this can help one person feel less alone, than all the fear I am facing is worth it.

If you have questions, thoughts, support, feel free to leave a comment.

So this is me. This is me being free. And this is awesome.

xo, C

12 comments:

  1. ShannonJune 29, 2015 at 4:54 PM

    I am so proud of you, Cate! You are such a brave and strong person. I've read this twice now with tears of joy for you, and hope that you can now breathe a little easier in the world. Your friend, always! SG

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    Replies
    1. Garden GirlJune 30, 2015 at 6:17 AM

      Thanks you, Shannon! Your support means so much!

      xoxox, C

      Delete
  2. CaitlinJune 29, 2015 at 6:08 PM

    This is so awesome. So awesome that you are living free and accepting yourself fully. Rock on, girl. <3

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    1. Garden GirlJune 30, 2015 at 6:18 AM

      Thanks Caitlin! It feels so great to be myself and free and not have to keep part of myself secret.

      Love, C

      Delete
  3. UnknownJune 29, 2015 at 8:28 PM

    So proud to be a part of your authentic truthful life. I wish Australia would legalize same sex marriage.

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    Replies
    1. Garden GirlJune 30, 2015 at 6:20 AM

      I wish Australia would legalize same sex marriage as well! It took a long time for the US to get on board, and we need a lot more acceptance in our country. It shouldn't be judged by someone else's belief/religion and their should be respect given and understanding.

      Thanks for your support!

      xo, C

      Delete
  4. Stumbling Through LifeJune 30, 2015 at 3:00 PM

    You are also another word that starts with B- and that is Brave!! I am that person who has to hide behind anonymity on this blog to be free to say what I really think and feel. For the rest of the world, I'm fake and I don't speak up when I want to and don't feel free to offer my real opinions, because I'm so afraid of hurting others or offending family. I can only dream of living an authentic life. So wonderful that you are doing it!

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    1. Garden GirlJuly 8, 2015 at 6:45 AM

      Thank you so much dear! The thing is being authentic didn't come all at once for me. It's been little by little, but it makes a huge difference in my happiness, so it's worth it!

      xo, C

      Delete
  5. CassandraJuly 6, 2015 at 9:38 AM

    I had the same struggle with myself about… maybe a year ago? Maybe more? I blogged about it as well, and came out as bisexual. My husband is fine with it, which is a relief, but I've come to realize since then that I'm not exactly bisexual, more like a heteroflexible demisexual. I applaud your decision to publicly own all parts of yourself, and I'm glad to see this. It is a big step forward in self-acceptance. This may even help keep depression at bay! At least, it's one part of your recovery anyway.

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    1. Garden GirlJuly 8, 2015 at 6:45 AM

      Thank you Cassandra! Yeah, it is a big step forward for me. Not hiding out of fear is huge!

      Delete
  6. CassandraJuly 6, 2015 at 9:49 AM

    P.S.- Awesome video. I'm grinning ear to ear after watching it :)

    ReplyDelete

I adore your notes! Please don't be shy! :)

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